The Moonlight
Here in the shiny sparking moonlight, beneath the shades of the tree began the eternal love story of two fraternal beings.
Though the incoherent self makes her least expressive of his departure. But she still craves for being unladed by the overpowering emotions.
The immortal soul pulls her back to the present .To feel the fragrance of the time in hand. But poor she unleashed by her emotions flows in the drift of its vast ocean.
Her heart then evokes with the feel of love. She then traces the memories back lanes
His magnanimous self embellished her ethereal beauty. Molded her and cleansed her from deep within .Made her realize the exotic feel of being loved. The tenderness in his voice his warm gentle touch, created a deep sense of longing ness within.
But the promise what she had made to herself, not to flow with the drift
Generates an even stronger being inside. Here starts the untiring fight of her with her untrammeled emotions.
But the constant hope within her makes her again feel like a victorious being.
Comments
Just a feeling that too many high sounding words can be done away with. eg, the word 'fraternal' in the first line did not mean anything (to me atleast)
The idea is, not everybody who reads your blog will have the same level of vocab. And dont expect people to open a dictionary when they read a blog ;)
Cheers and Thanks
Rohan
The prose(or is it poem ??) aptly shows the internal struggle one goes thro while trying to find the right balance between the two extremes of life.
Keep up the good work.. .
Best wishes
Tathagat
One thing common i have noticed in both of ur poems...eternal love....the lead chacter in utter desolation....longing for her beloved.... and the nature playing the role savior....brining solace and hope... :)
Keep on d g8t work....
i wish i too cud write smthing but i feel i hav left all these long back in school smwhere....
my thoughts have matured but art of prose n vocabs....i feel i hav lost them now......